I've never been married, but I have to say nothing irritates me more than late people and people that don't RSVP to things but show up anyway. How inconsiderate can you be? I'm sorry that you didn't have the wedding of your dreams and had to endure the thoughtless actions of family and friends. Who goes to a wedding and doesn't bring a gift unless the bride and groom request explicitly you don't? I'm happy that you are at a place where you can set firm boundaries and demand the respect you deserve. I'm not all the way there yet on my journey, but I hope to be one day soon. It makes life so much easier.