I’d Rather Drink Battery Acid Than Argue with Racists on Twitter About the Little Mermaid

They keep moving the goalpost.

Laquesha Bailey

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Credit: Disney’s The Little Mermaid

Being a racist is the hardest job in the world.

You’re probably waiting for a sarcastic qualifier for that statement, but I have none. It’s true.

The role is unimaginably taxing. It requires the analytical and technical know-how of skilled engineers, the flexibility of Olympic gymnasts, the delusion of starving artists, the unmitigated creativity of undergrad students writing a 5000-word essay the night it’s due and the desperation of politicians backed into an impossible corner.

I’ve always admired the mental fortitude of racists. I imagine it is exhausting, back-breaking work to reposition goalposts after every failed talking point.

Nowhere is this clearer than with the whole Little Mermaid debacle.

I had planned to do a broader examination of the consequences of “review bombing” in film and TV, paying specific attention to the new Rings of Power show and the Little Mermaid teaser trailer. However, I’ve concluded that I don’t care about the Lord of the Rings — at all. Best to let the Tolkien warriors argue amongst themselves.

Besides, if I have to debate one more 45-year-old man about a children’s mermaid movie, I may just blow my brains out.

If I’m going to defend a children’s film at length to racists, I may as well get paid $0.50 for doing it.

So here we are.

To be clear, I’m not claiming that everyone who is wary of the upcoming Little Mermaid movie is a racist. I’m simply saying that depending on your reason for hating it and your actions thereafter, there’s an 80% you might be. On the bright side, there’s also a 15% chance you might just be an idiot. The other 5% comprise rational souls whose criticisms are both valid and devoid of racially charged sentiment.

Today, we’re going to focus on the idiots and the racists because there’s a fair bit of overlap between the two groups.

The criticism for the upcoming Little Mermaid live-action is ever-changing. Detractors cling to a one-dimensional talking point until that tower is flattened, then…

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Laquesha Bailey

4th-year undergrad | 3x Top Writer in Feminism and Social Media | I write about race, self and whatever else piques my interest | laqueshabailey15@gmail.com